How not to write an unsolicited proposal Hrush
Small and medium sized businesses are feeling the pinch from the worldwide economic slowdown and seem to be doing everything they can to capture sales and generate revenues. It’s obvious that these are very difficult times, but that’s no excuse for unchecked and blatantly idiotic behaviour.
We’ve been increasingly irked by a flood of unsolicited proposals we get for products and services that our business clearly doesn’t need. These proposals seem like they’ve been written by first-graders and have all the targeting of a lawn sprinkler–the people sending them out are simply sending them everywhere, without even bothering to tailor the proposal to the recipient.
Here’s one example from Drishti Infotech, a company whose mission it is “to create a web site exceeding in quality every time by providing best web site design with every single project according to the parameters of Google” (the client’s parameters can go to hell as long as Google is satisfied).
Dear Sir,
We saw your website, it is fine, but not designed and developed according to the website designing and promotional rules set by the search engines such as google & yahoo.
We suggest you to re construct and promote youer website to retain your woth spent on your website, also ensure to highlight you in online business promotion in good with top listing positions..
We are sending you a normal proposal for your website design and development with promotional activity. please have a look the attachment file.
Are these guys really clueless enough to think anyone would entrust them with designing a web site when they can’t even stitch together a couple of simple paragraphs in an email? If that weren’t bad enough, the list of services they offered us include “logo designing, 4 page semi catalogue, 11 page mini website for business.” And, this one takes the cake–”E broachers.” Which of these and the 14 other useless services they offered did they really think Cleartrip needed?
Here’s another one from Jingle Info tech Limited (Warning: Clicking this link may hurt your eyes):
What we can assure you, we will be giving you a quality work, and I am sure that after seeing our work you will recommend us, to your friends, and all this at a very competitive pricing — Offer For a new Website only in 5,999.
Now isn’t that just what we needed? A brand new 5 page web site with domain registration and hosting thrown in. What utter drivel.
Of course, the best way to write an unsolicited proposal is not to write one, but if you must, the least you can do is avoid these types of atrocious errors.
Whoa!
Solid beating! But why give them link love?
Whack on the face….
The Jingle website felt like there was some cosmic force behind it…
Sheer idiotic colour combinations….
Drishti mentions the same clients name thrice in its portfolio….
As if we dont understand…
ROFL! Personally I like a more minimal layout. See what I have done with http://www.mypopcircle.com – no hurting of the eyes! I like Cleartrip’s look as well.
This is the gold standard of garbage. Please archive and never delete.
I have a folder named ‘The Classics’ in my mailbox (from way back when we were still restricted by folders), and both these gems belong in there.
@ Saurabh Nanda:
The link love to Jingle is well justified. Quite simply – I love it!
Trying to choose between their ingeniously labeled tabs of ‘website design’, ‘website development’ and ‘dynamic websites’ was perhaps the most challenging task for me today (I eventually clicked none because it would have been even more challenging to digest whatever it is that possibly lies beyond). And they’ve combined these with additional cryptic clues just above in the form of icons for what should be perhaps the most important single task (from their perspective) for a user to complete on this website – the contact us page.
If it were not for my better judgement, I should show this website at every single pitch meeting I go to henceforth.
@ every one else here:
Truly, however do vegetables like this survive in this space? Does any company serious about its marketing choose their creative agency on the basis of how many units they can deliver within X timeframe and at Y cost? Would you seriously even ask at any stage how much they would charge to produce a 30 second tvc or a 10 second radio jingle? And then dare to discriminate on the basis of the price quoted (And at the risk of digressing, I would recommend strongly that you drop any agency that actually provides an answer)?
Then why do we consistently keep abusing the internet (and other forms of digital marketing) in this fashion? Why do you demand to purchase media on the basis of a cost per click or cost per lead? Do any of you have the gall to go demand the same from a tv channel or newspaper or magazine, or are you too afraid to be thrown out of their office? Can you even KNOW how many leads a single tv spot generates for you? Then how dare you demand this of a medium that delivers much much more value than you’re used to?
I have been asked time and again what it costs to build and run an e-commerce website, and from people who are least qualified to sell the product or service they intend to; the most dreaded of all is that evergreen ‘what is the per page cost?’ ‘what if I want just a 4 page website’ etc.
(Aside: At a Google SEM presentation in our office, one of our senior-most marketers with 15 years+ experience eventually asked of Google what everyone in the room wanted to know – "So what is a good cost per lead for a bank like us?". Promptly, the Google representative responded "I don’t know. We’re just a publisher. Have you ever enquired this of a newspaper or tv channel?". And ofcourse, pat comes the reply "No of course not. How silly that would be. They would never know. But you do don’t you? So tell us.")
Just because it CAN be measured, now it WILL be measured, and all the information so gathered will be used against.
Sigh, I guess the only reason why all the Jingles and Drishtis of this world will continue to exist and flourish is because of us – as long as there is demand there will be supply. And in a dog eat dog world, online publishers will offer cost per click and cost per lead for as long as their competitors do (kudos to Rediff here for refusing to bend over). (Now ofcourse, there’s this new innovation – cost per action – and everyone’s after that one.)
Shame on you Marketers of the world. Shame on you for feeding this frenzy.
(sorry for venting like this, but I can assure you it’s been coming awhile.)
Hrush, i get these all the time… most of them are related to SEO and the funny part is that they don’t even divulge their website in the email… even their email address is a free one. Never the less i were you, i would not have given them any link love, would have used a rel="nofollow" tag.
really i enjoy this post, i get some knowlege, thanx to all,